Just a small update: Please consider reading my blog, because that's prolly the only way you'll see I'm alive from now, since I have gone threw all journals, messages and comments. Not to mention som notes I hadn't answered.
BLOG CAN BE FOUND HERE

Officially going on MB and dA hiatus till all commissions are done.

Hey people out there! What's with those nasty PMs about me not doing commissions? You who aren't commissioning me shouldn't care in the first place!
For people stuff like drawing might feel really easy, but for me it's hard. Every little task takes a lot of energy! After just one lesson at school I'm tired enough to sleep. Just changing from pyjama is like hell, you know! Pressing the MB-button or typing the URL feels like too much effort.
Why? WHY?
Well, because I'm sick. obviously. OBVIOUSLY. Can't you get that?

I'm really depressed. I've been depressed for a long time. I guess when mom got sick I took an escalator downwards. Trying hard to help my mother made me lots and lots worse. Making myself do more stuff than I feel I can is the worst thing I can do.
I mailed a doctor - psychiatrist or whatever it is - on a site and asked if they believed I was depressed.
The answer I got was that even if I can feel very happy at times, it sounded like I should as soon as possible visit a doctor in person.
Well... i knew that much already! I knew I should talk to someone. Because I WANT help. However, I guess it's not until that very mail I realized I'm actually sick... Or rather... That I still am.
I tried to kill myself several years ago several times, but since then I never tried, however bad i've felt. Because i realized it DOES get better. But that thought doesn't make me healthy, like I thought. Like I think a lot of people might think.

So, anyway, after that realization I've been weighting what I should do and... well, the desicion I made was to explain the decision and go on a hiatus. I won't allow myself to post anything here until all commissions are finished. I won't take any commissions either. I will however read comments and answer comments for the upcomming days. And before I leave I'll cleen out my messages, because I feel this might take some time.
I'll try talking to someone in person this week and I'll just do my best on basic things like going to school and/or practising for the concert. And when everything is better I'll come back.

I really hope you understand and fon't leave any nasty messages. They are really hard to ignore because things I usually wouldn't care about makes me more depressed.

Thanks. and Bye.